But Not Today
by EveningInHornersCorners
Summary: A little midnight confusion causes five of the castaways to jump to conclusions. Can the other two remedy this?


The castaways had danced the night away. The Howells had given a party in honor of the beginning of the opera season, so their friends put on their finery and had a grand old time. Of course there was lobster salad and fried seaweed and coconut cream pies, but as far as popularity went the dancing reigned supreme. Gilligan and the Skipper took turns putting the needle back on the record and dancing with Ginger (Mr. Howell cringed as he realized that, courtesy of Gilligan, the record would be skipping like mad by the end of the night and he'd have to buy a new copy when they got back to the mainland). Thurston and Lovey had reserved all of their dances for one another, and the Professor and Mary Ann stuck together, waltzing in a never-ending fashion that was beautiful to behold.

It was during the last dance of the night that the latter couple inadvertently danced into the jungle. It was Mary Ann who first noticed their surroundings. "Professor, I think we went a little too far off the dance floor." she quipped after observing a monkey.

"Yes, it would appear so." was the reply. "We should probably head back." he stated in a matter-of-fact tone as the two ceased their waltzing. Walking side-by-side they headed in the direction of the huts.

They'd been trudging on for awhile when the Professor heard a yelp from beside him. Mary Ann was nowhere to be seen.

"Mary Ann?"

"Down here. I tripped." she responded. He dropped to his knees and in the moonlight saw the girl.

"Are you alright?"

"I think I hurt my wrist."

"I'll take a look at it. There's a boulder a few yards away. You can sit on that." It was found and Mary Ann held out her right hand once she was situated. "Can you move it?" he inquired.

"Yes." After feeling it he announced it was nothing but a bad whack. The two headed back to camp.

###

"Where _are_ those two?" The Skipper asked in a slightly exasperated tone.

"Have they disappeared entirely?" Mrs. Howell interrogated worriedly as she wrung her hands. Her husband was pacing, and Ginger was weeping, horrified at the thought of losing her roommate. Gilligan, who'd been putting the records back, walked outside and was shocked at the picture before him. "What's wrong?" he wondered aloud.

"The Professor and Mary Ann haven't come back." Ginger sputtered between sobs.

"The last time I saw them they were dancing near the jungle." the first mate piped up.

"Well, I suggest we search for them. They've been gone much too long." the Skipper said decisively. So the five of them set out on their quest. They'd just reached the edge of the jungle when Gilligan whispered, "There they are!" The Professor was down on one knee and holding Mary Ann's hand. All five heard her say "Yes."

Mrs. Howell gasped. "He's…He's proposing!"

###

All of them were casually seated at the table chewing the fat when the Professor and Mary Ann walked up. "Sorry if we worried you. There was a…little matter I had to take care of." the Professor greeted them. Gilligan was about to say something before the Skipper shot him a dirty look.

"Well, we're all tired. Why don't we hit the hay?" Mary Ann said quietly. The others quickly complied and soon were all asleep.

###

The next day after breakfast the Professor approached the Skipper by the lagoon with plans for a raft carrying a note that might aid their rescue. "Skipper, I need you to do something for me."

"Of course, Professor. Just give me the day you want it done."

"Oh, anytime soon." The Skipper was taken aback.

"Professor, I figured you would have put more thought into it than _that_."

"Well the date doesn't really matter, it's the design. You see…"

"I know Professor. The date shouldn't be important. Why don't we set it for next Tuesday?"

"Okay. But you see the correct layout of the float is really quite essential…"

"That's right, I forgot!" the Skipper, slapping his forehead. "I can only do it on water! Don't worry, though Professor. I'll get it done. I know what I'm doing."

"Thanks." the Professor called over his shoulder as he walked away. "You'd think I was getting married." he muttered.

###

The Skipper was shocked by the Professor. This was supposed to be a man in love, and yet so unconcerned about the date that he and Mary Ann would be celebrating for years to come. The portly man shook his head as he set to work on the raft. He'd have Gilligan decorate it afterwards; he was good at that sort of thing.

###

"Mary Ann!" Ginger called as she approached her roommate. The brunette looked up from the pot she was stirring.

"Yes?"

"Mrs. Howell wanted me to ask you some questions."

"Shoot."

"Do you prefer lace or silk?"

"Lace."

"Diamonds or pearls?"

"Pearls."

"Silver or gold?"

"Silver."

"Ostrich plumes or peacock?"

"Peacock. Ginger, what's all this for?"

"Oh, Mrs. Howell is just making you something."

"What?"

"Oh, you'll know soon enough. So…" Ginger said as she sat down near her friend. "What does it feel like?"

"What does what feel like?"

"Oh, you know."

"I'm afraid I don't."

"I'm not jealous. I just want to know the inside story."

"Of what?"

"Mary Ann, don't hold back on my account. I'm happy for you. We girls stick together at times like this."

"Ginger, I'm afraid you know the mystery and I don't. If you'll excuse me I must get back to my soup."

###

The titian-haired actress shook her head as she entered the Howell hut. "Lace, pearls, silver, and peacock." she rattled off mindlessly. "She acts like she doesn't know a thing about it, Mrs. Howell."

"Well we aren't supposed to know yet, dear. They haven't made the announcement."

"You have a point. But I figured you could get a bride talking because she's so happy and forgets the announcement."

"That's how it usually works. But Mary Ann isn't a regular girl. She's one of a kind. No wonder the Professor went for her." Lovey smiled as she went about finding a strand of pearls for the girl to have on her wedding day.

###

"Professor, I wondered if I might speak to you." The Professor turned around to see Mr. Howell standing on the threshold.

"Certainly, Mr. Howell." He stepped outside with the older man.

"My dear boy, I want you to always remember this: when in doubt, use money. If you're fighting and it looks hopeless, bribe her. It's worked for me for twenty years." He heartily slapped the other man on the back.

"Okay…"

"That's all you need to know, my dear chap. Get back to work now."

###

It was after dinner and Gilligan, the Skipper, Ginger, and the Howells had cleared the table and all gone into the supply hut, apparently looking for something. Mary Ann looked the Professor in the eye.

"I have a feeling there's something funny going on around here. You should have heard the questions Ginger asked me today. It was like I was supposed to know something."

"I had that same feeling. The Skipper was obsessing over some date when I approached him with a rescue idea and Mr. Howell gave me some advice about bribing of all things."

Mary Ann grinned wryly. "Very Howell-esque."

"Say, why don't we do a little eavesdropping?" the Professor suggested, nodding towards the supply hut. Mary Ann agreed quickly and they approached it.

"You're marrying them next _Tuesday_!" Ginger cried incredulously.

"Well, the Professor didn't seem to care about the date. Just the float design. Gilligan, make it good." The Skipper snapped.

"I'll never have Mary Ann's wedding dress done by then." Mrs. Howell sighed mournfully.

They'd heard enough. It was all they could do to smother their giggles as they high-tailed back to the table.

"They must think I proposed the night we danced into the woods by mistake." the Professor whispered.

"Do we just tell them?" Mary Ann asked.

"They'd never believe us. No, I have a plan." So the two put their heads together, and, after some tweaking, had the perfect scheme before them. They were still snickering when they retired to their respective huts.

###

In the morning Mary Ann prepared breakfast as usual but burned some of the coconut. She'd make sure the Professor got that portion. She also spiked his guava juice with ocean water. When the group sat down she handed him his cup, winked at him, and proceeded to serve the coconut. Afterwards she crossed her fingers under the table, hoping the Professor was a half-decent actor.

He was. After spitting out the coconut he exclaimed, "Mary Ann, you cook terribly! You're worse than Ginger!"

"Well, excuse me! Why don't you wash it down with some guava juice?" she snapped.

After tasting it, he threw the cup down and hissed, "You can't even juice a guava right. If the rest of you will excuse me, I should like to get away before this vile cooking makes me ill." He left the table to prepare for phase two of their plan.

Mary Ann went to do her wash later, knowing the Professor would be waiting for her. She picked up a few test tubes on her way, as he said he'd need them. As she approached him she said, "You did wonderfully this morning."

"Burning my coconut and making my beverage unpalatable helped." he replied sheepishly.

"You have the chemicals?" she asked.

"Yes. The stain will only _look_ bad. If you scrub a little it shouldn't be hard to get out."

"Okay." She handed him the test tubes. When he was ready he snapped his fingers.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to experiment by my laundry?" she screamed.

###

If the breakfast and laundry incidents had made a spectacle, dinner would go down as the last battle of the Civil War. She over-salted his seaweed, burned his fish, and poured a grotesque shade of nail polish in his pineapple. At least he knew not to eat it. He, in turn, glued her plate, glass, and utensils down, prepared to start a food fight between them, and rehearsed frightful insults about her cooking.

Dinner started out quietly enough until Mary Ann tried to lift her fork and glared at the Professor, who snorted, "This fish must be six months old."

"For your information, it came out of the water today."

"Well, if you're so attached to it…" He threw it across the table. He was then greeted by a handful of seaweed. The fight lasted until they started firing whole coconuts at each other, at which point the Skipper broke it up. They shot each other dirty looks but sat down. "Not even a swine would eat that food." he snapped. "I'd never marry a woman who was out to poison me."

"And I'd never marry a man who hurls insults the ways you do."

"Guys, you aren't saying…" Ginger trailed off.

"We most certainly are! The wedding is off!" Mary Ann said defiantly. She left the table.

###

Later, she and the Professor met in the jungle.

"Think we convinced them?" he asked.

"I'm sure of it." she replied. Then something occurred to her, and though it seemed like a silly question, she had to ask it. "Professor, you don't really hate me, do you?"

"If I did would I be meeting you here?"

"No, I suppose not." she answered wistfully. She looked into his eyes. "You see, Professor, I care about you. I might even say I love you, but not that way." She nodded towards the boulder. _At least not yet._ She thought.

"Mary Ann, I feel the same way. Why don't we seal it with a kiss?" As his lips touched hers, her first kiss she realized, she found herself thinking, _Someday, maybe, but not today_.


End file.
